Gone.

My uncle passed away.
and today was his funeral.

Truthfully, this blog is not addressed to anybody, instead it really and truly is a release; as my thoughts and emotions are at their highest and i've turned to my blog in order to let things out, in hopes of remaining sane; quite as a blog should be used. and so I apologize if my thoughts are not ordered, and are perhaps a little perplexing.

It's funny how quickly people come together, how fast things can be organized and how united people can be just because of one sad event.
I almost didn't like it. I didn't quite feel a part of the unity, and the unitedness of the grieving today. I felt quite alone, and confused. I felt like I was more upset than anybody else there. But of course, everybody felt like that, I suppose.

I can't work out why I didn't expect his death to arrive.
He was diagnosed with lung cancer. Lung cancer kills you.
Yet his death suprized me more than anything ever has, ever.

I'm going on my trip to Asia very soon. My christmas present, paid for by my mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, and my uncle.
I'm not sure if I want to go anymore.

I don't think it has sunk in that it actually was his funeral today.
It doesn't seem real, nor right.

Sorry for being unreachable for the past few days.
I'm sure you can understand.
I hope you and your families are well, and I hope that whenever, God forbid, the time comes that someone you love dies you don't feel as awful as I do.
It's a horrible feeling.

Shea.

4 comments:

KayJay said...

Sorry for your loss.

But if you don't go to Asia, you'll regret it for a long time. I'm sure your Uncle would want you to spread your wings & explore the world....

shea said...

Yeah, I know.
I mean, I probably will go because, like you said, he would definitely want me too and all of my family have put a lot of money in to it.
so yeah, I doubt I'd cancel it.

but at the same time, I'm worried I wont enjoy it.
But we'll see.

and thank you.

original.femme said...

aww hunbun, im so sorry for your loss.

Unbreakable said...

loosing a family member of a loveone is a very hard thing to deal with, i understand your pain, i know you may think that no one understands you, but we do, i am really sorry for the lost.

but i think you should go to Asia, and try your best to have fun.

Happy Valentines